The feelings no one cares

Ever feel that way?
That was the feeling I grew up with. I didn't think my mom cared. I knew my grandmother didn't like me. she'd told me enough times how much she didn't. And as I had said earlier, my views on God were real messed up. I didn't think He cared much either.
It seemed to me as a child, my mom always took my older brother's side. He had heart trouble and was in and out of the hospital a lot. So he was able to get away with a lot of stuff because of that. And he was real quick to remind me of that fact.
My sister who was 5 years younger than me, got away with stuff because she was the baby.
She would do things to get us into trouble, and then laugh about it. She did get into trouble sometimes, but not as much as we did. I think as I look back on things, Charles and I probably took a lot of it because she was our baby. But when it came to our grandmother, Becky never ever did anything wrong. With her I learned to just take whippings instead of saying anything, it was easier. If I tried to say I didn't do it, one of the others did, then I was lying, and got whipped harder.
I became one hard core little girl. I never cried from the age 5 up. Because if I cried, I got hit till I quit crying. I was 48yrs old before I cried again!
Then when the water works started the were hard to stop for awhile!!