2/10/11 Today is my birthday

Today I've made it to 57 years old. To look back on my life, I would have to say, that is something I didn't think would ever happen. And only by the Grace of God, it did. How great is my God? He can take a broken piece of clay, put it back on the potters wheel and make it into a brand new vessel that He can use again. He can heal a broken heart, and turn the darkness night into light. That's what He did with my life. Has it been easy? No, no, and no. Will it get any easier? I hope so, but I doubt it. Let's be real. Life is all about trials and being real. Some people can slide through life and seem to not get dirty at all. I fall into every mud hole I come near. But without the mud holes I wouldn't know the saving grace of my savior. How he picks me up, cleans me off, and tells me I can and must go on. Is there another mud hole, yep. And sometimes I can step over it, with the help of my Lord. Sometimes He allows me to fall into it, so I learn, and come out stronger and cleaner on the other side. I have  wondered "what good am I?"  most of my life. Why am I here? Is God punishing me? As a child those answers were, I'm no good. I'm only here to be punished for all the bad things I've done, even though I'm not sure I know what they are. And yes, God is keeping me here to punish me.
Now that I'm an adult, and have learned that God is my friend, and I have a personal relationship with Jesus. I know that: I am good, and I am here for a reason, even if I don't know what that reason is. And no, God is not punishing me. He is helping me through every trial that I've ever been through or I will ever go through.
It may have took me 40 some years "to get it" but hey, better late than never. :)
But I have to thank God for the mentors He has given me along the way. Back in the 90's it was Pastor Terry, and Pastor Dan.
God started with them to "crack" this hard shell.
But I think God's Real Grace and forgiveness started with His warriors who were very active in the healing of my past and growing in Christ, were Pastor Brad, Pastor Tom &  Pastor Dave.
These men of God prayed with and for me, counseled with me, and told me things I sometimes (lots of times) didn't want to hear, concerning what the Lord had to say, about things going on in my life. (I hated to hear it, but they usually were just confirming what God had already told me) Man, how neat it was though to go to Pastor ___ and say, guess what? I finally got it!!!!
I'm not bound by my past any longer! Praise The Lord!! Do I still have issues? Yep. Do I still have bad days? Yep. Do I have a Heavenly Father who I can and do go to now, and I know He hears me? Yep! It makes are the difference in the word!! Praise His Holy Name.