I'm new at blogging, but I wanted to get my story out to give others hope, who feel they have none.
I want to tell of the hurt, pain, and shame that drove me to low self esteem, alcohol, depression,
and 4 attempts of suicide. That brought me to the arms of Jesus. And finally finding out that He really loved me with a true everlasting NO strings attach type of love. I didn't have to "please" Him, for Him to love me.
My name is Lora Brenda and I was born in 1954. I was born out of a rape situation, even though my parents were married. My parents are Tom and Phyllis, both are deceased.
I have a brother Charles, who is 14 months older, and a sister Becky, who is 5 years younger.
I want to tell of the hurt, pain, and shame that drove me to low self esteem, alcohol, depression,
and 4 attempts of suicide. That brought me to the arms of Jesus. And finally finding out that He really loved me with a true everlasting NO strings attach type of love. I didn't have to "please" Him, for Him to love me.
My name is Lora Brenda and I was born in 1954. I was born out of a rape situation, even though my parents were married. My parents are Tom and Phyllis, both are deceased.
I have a brother Charles, who is 14 months older, and a sister Becky, who is 5 years younger.
My father who was in the Army was called to come home, because Charles was very sick. He had heart trouble.
My mother who had been at the hospital several days and nights with my brother, was very tired. She didn't want to leave her baby to go home with her husband. But his mother, (who wouldn't stay with her grandson before) insisted. Long story short, my father forced himself on my mother, and I was conceived.
My mother who had been at the hospital several days and nights with my brother, was very tired. She didn't want to leave her baby to go home with her husband. But his mother, (who wouldn't stay with her grandson before) insisted. Long story short, my father forced himself on my mother, and I was conceived.
My mother told me many times how she hated me when she was caring me, and tried to abort me. She said that until I was born she didn't consider me a baby, and hoped I would die. But once I was born, she felt different. She would tell me that I was stubborn even before I was born.
House fire
When I was 3 months old, our house caught on fire. We lived in a trailer in my grandparents yard. My mom said she and a friend who also had two children were in the trailer asleep. She told how they grabbed the children and ran out of the house and took the kids up to the big house. When they realized that no one had remembered getting me out, Mom started to run back into the trailer when a policeman knocked her out of the way just as the trailer blew up. She started screaming that her baby was in there. She said that she was screaming that it was her fault, and God was punishing her for not wanting me. They were all in the house when my grandfather sat on a bunch of blankets that were bunched up in a chair, and they started moving. I was in them. No one knew who took me up to the house. But I was there, and I was safe!
I am listening Brenda, please continue when you are ready.
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